I’ve been a single mother since the moment I found out I was pregnant. By the time I was feeling sick and all that, I was as single as one can be. Four years later I keep single and despite our society assumption that happiness is part of having found a soul mate (check any Hollywood movie, sitcom or any feedback given by media in general) I’m very happy indeed.
It might look to you that there must be something wrong here otherwise why would I want to make a point about it, right? Well, I want to make a point about it to go against our typical media feedback. There should me more stories about people being happy just as they are, with no need of a soul mate.
Being single doesn’t necessarily mean not ever having anybody. By single, I understand that someone (like me) dates occasionally or even long-term but doesn´t commit to living together. This non-commitment isn´t something everlasting, who can know this? It’s just what it is and what makes somebody keep the single title for the time being.
Like most people, I love to be with somebody, a man, a friend, a lover, but I love to be on my own as well. As a single mother, there are a few great things that happen only because I am alone. I numbered five here:
1. A very strong bond between me and my kid (the hours being spent with someone surely add to intimacy and knowing someone better).
2. No arguments about how to raise my kid. I’ve seen couples with totally different approaches on parenthood. It’s a big challenge to raise a kid with another person that doesn’t share your ideas about education. One thinks it’s ok to hit kids, the other is against it, I’m out of this.
3. No sex requested after a full day. Being awake since five in the morning and then putting the baby to sleep at night can be a challenge to one’s libido . I can go straight to bed after my kid sleeps. No talking, no sex, no nothing (maybe a book or a movie), I can pull a pure and beautiful 8-hour sleep.
4. Easier planning on eating times. Making lunch, recycling lunch, splitting a plate at a cheap place, going vegetarian for a week, whatever I decide is fine. I only have lunch as the big meal of the day. We eat fruits in the morning, have a real lunch and at night probably either have some lunch leftovers or have a snack. Easy like that.
5. More freedom to come and go. Couples are always into what each other is doing and combining schedules. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great, but not having it is awesome too.
I don’t mean to say it´s better to be single, I don’t really think there is only one good situation. This is what I know and I happen to enjoy it a lot. If I ever get married though, you can bet I’ll be writing about how awesome it is too.